Chocolate Humor

You put WHAT in my chocolate cake?

You want the best cake. The moistest cake. The healthiest cake.
I get that. I really do.

Bring out the chocolate flavor with a dash of espresso powder? Sure. I can handle that.

How about adding a dollop of sour cream? Maybe.

Make it moister with mayonnaise?

That’s where things cross the line for me. Some things just don’t belong in chocolate cake. My rule of thumb, if it goes on a sandwich, leave it out of my dessert.

Now, I’m not totally closed-minded. Let’s say you’d like dessert, but you don’t want all the calories that come with it. That’s understandable. In fact, I find some of the early hacks acceptable, substituting fats with fruits, such as, apple sauce, bananas, or pumpkin.

But, the latest trends have me holding my stomach.
Avocado, zucchini, kale, and the one that pains me to type in the same sentence as chocolate…black beans. Black beans, you guys.

If you are one that eats like this, I’m not putting you down. In fact, I applaud you and your super powers.

Call me stubborn, or call me a purist (I prefer the latter), but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

It’s not the fact that I don’t like vegetables. I’d just prefer to keep them out of my dessert. (Back to my sandwich rule).

Am I alone on this one? I’d love to hear your opinions!

5 thoughts on “You put WHAT in my chocolate cake?”

  1. Friend once made an black bean cacao cake/bread sweetened only with fruit (forgot the fruit). She was so proud (she’s vegan). We ate it with smiles and compliments then ate a real chocolate chip cookie after we got home. Sorry, no 🙂


  2. My grandmother made a ketchup cake once. It was disgusting. I have tried mayo in all sorts of things, though. It really is good. It’s the extra fat that makes it work. I’m similarly adventurous with pumpkin puree, but draw the line at adding green things in odd places (other than zucchini bread). Let kale be kale, not something odd in my smoothie. 🙂 Love your graphic faces. So funny.


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