13 Stages of a Chocoholic’s Diet

Acceptance.

Perhaps I’ve been eating a tad too much.

Procrastination.

I’m starting my diet… right after I finish these chocolate chip cookies. ( I wouldn’t want to be tempted by them later.)

False Confidence.

Diet? I got this. It will be fun.

Concern.

This diet is doing weird, horrible things to my stomach.

Denial.

When everyone else is eating chocolate cake- “I don’t even want chocolate cake.”

Pain.

A “friend” suggests replacing your chocolate with raw vegetables.

Anger.

Diets are stupid. Carbs are stupid.  Trans fats are stupid.

Reflection.

Chocolate, we had some good times together. I miss you Ben. I miss you, Jerry.

Sadness.

I just feel so empty and alone.

Depression.

Without chocolate, there is no happiness.

Delirium.  

Hunger pains trigger food fantasies.

Negotiation.

I’ll just have a taste.

Acceptance.

Chocolate is happiness.